Remember Easter Island - that pacific atoll that has the big stupid stone heads, no trees, no animals, and no people. Well, they've figured out that the stone heads were the ancient equivalent of an arms race where the tribal kings drove their people to build more and more of these pointless and stupid stone head monuments to their king to prove that their king was the ultimate chief of the island and was the chosen one - chosen by the gods to rule over all the island and all the other kings and chieftans - 'cause he had the biggest head, I guess.
The problem was that they cut down the trees to use them to roll the stones from the quarry to the hills and beaches where they could be (and still are) prominently displayed - just like the stupid-ass Pyramids in Egypt.
After all the trees were cut down - every last one, the topsoil washed off the island due to all the tropical downpours and no tree roots to hold the soil together. There went their crops and food for their animals.
Then, they couldn't build new canoes (no trees), so they couldn't fish or escape to another habitable island - everyone - every man, woman, and child died within a few years of the last tree falling. And can you imagine what those last few years were like - really pleasant I'll bet. Try, cannabalism, war, torture, human sacrifice to the supposedly angry gods. Oh, I bet Easter Island wasn't quite the vacation garden spot it is now that big, fat tourists like to flock to and take amazing pictures of these stupid heads.
The problem was that they cut down the trees to use them to roll the stones from the quarry to the hills and beaches where they could be (and still are) prominently displayed - just like the stupid-ass Pyramids in Egypt.
After all the trees were cut down - every last one, the topsoil washed off the island due to all the tropical downpours and no tree roots to hold the soil together. There went their crops and food for their animals.
Then, they couldn't build new canoes (no trees), so they couldn't fish or escape to another habitable island - everyone - every man, woman, and child died within a few years of the last tree falling. And can you imagine what those last few years were like - really pleasant I'll bet. Try, cannabalism, war, torture, human sacrifice to the supposedly angry gods. Oh, I bet Easter Island wasn't quite the vacation garden spot it is now that big, fat tourists like to flock to and take amazing pictures of these stupid heads.
Oh, I'm sorry, am I insulting the Moai national heritage? Too bad; your national heritage is as stupid as mine. Read on.
Imagine this scene: 2 workers are preparing to cut down the last tree on Easter Island. They look around, axes in hand, and realize they're standing next to the very last tree on their Earth. Then the King's overseer cracks his whip on their asses. The two grass-skirt wearing workers shrug their shoulders, knowing full well that they're doomed, and then they cut down the tree.
Imagine this scene: 2 workers are preparing to cut down the last tree on Easter Island. They look around, axes in hand, and realize they're standing next to the very last tree on their Earth. Then the King's overseer cracks his whip on their asses. The two grass-skirt wearing workers shrug their shoulders, knowing full well that they're doomed, and then they cut down the tree.
Look at this dickhead chieftan:
Doesn't look too bright to me. Doesn't look like the "chosen one," does he?
Easter Island is a perfect microcosm of earth - and exactly what we are currently engaged in. Pretty soon, Earth will be full of monuments to kings and presidents (like Reagan who made America a shit-hole place to live for a lot of normal working people) and asshole pharaohs, and it will have no food, no oil, and no humans. Pretty grim, huh? It's all true about Easter Island. Jared Diamond wrote a book about it.
Imagine some aliens coming to Earth and finding all these monuments we've built and no humans.
Speaking of the asshole pharaohs and pyramids, there's this great line in the movie "Caligula."
Caligula, the bloody lunatic god-delusional Roman emperor, commands the Roman Senate on pain of death to vote unanimously that they believe that Caligula is a God and to ratify the fact as a Roman law.
Fearing for their necks, the Senate goes ahead and passes a law that Caligula is indeed a god (and anyone who doesn't like it is dead meat).
The awesome scene in the movie is when right after the law is passed, one of the Senators turns to his aide in utter disgust, rolls his eyes, and says in regards to Caligula,
"He's a god now."
"Viddy well, brother!"
Imagine some aliens coming to Earth and finding all these monuments we've built and no humans.
Speaking of the asshole pharaohs and pyramids, there's this great line in the movie "Caligula."
Caligula, the bloody lunatic god-delusional Roman emperor, commands the Roman Senate on pain of death to vote unanimously that they believe that Caligula is a God and to ratify the fact as a Roman law.
Fearing for their necks, the Senate goes ahead and passes a law that Caligula is indeed a god (and anyone who doesn't like it is dead meat).
The awesome scene in the movie is when right after the law is passed, one of the Senators turns to his aide in utter disgust, rolls his eyes, and says in regards to Caligula,
"He's a god now."
"Viddy well, brother!"The look of absolute nausea on the senator's face and the dripping sarcasm in his tone of voice are friggin' priceless. The senator knows they just went from the frying pan to the fire now that Caligula is going to be more of a lunatic than ever now that he is offically a god - in his own mind anyway.
That one scene embodies the entire history of civilization, politics, and human power for me. I'm a born cynic. I feel like that Senator when i look at any human leader or endeavor.
Humans are so full of shit. Myself included.
I guess my mission in life is to just remind people now and then that we're all completely full of shit. As long as you aknowledge that, then things start to make a lot more sense to me and the world feels a whole lot safer.
Just don't bullshit me that one group of humans is sacred or good and another group are evil. That is the most dangerous horseshit that ever got flung.
That is, it's the most harmful meme ever concocted, and George Lucas should be strung up by his nuts for making such a black and white series of stupid ass movies called Star Wars. Give me a fucking break - the black helmeted bad people versus the white robed goodies and the good spirit (the force). Fuck off.
That's just what people fucking believe about earth, too. Why do you think it's the best-selling movie ever made?
Every group on Earth thinks they are the good ones, they are ones chosen by the gods or God or whatever you want to call him. They're not. You're not, I'm not, we're not. Nobody is.
The US still teaches every child in school about Manifest Destiny - the idea the god almighty chose the fledgling United States to be the ones to GENOCIDE the American Indians and to populate the entire (good parts) of the North American continent. Yes, little children it's okay to genocide bad people, especially when they're described in the Declaration of Independence as "merciless Indian savages." Especially when God tells you to.
I guess my mission in life is to just remind people now and then that we're all completely full of shit. As long as you aknowledge that, then things start to make a lot more sense to me and the world feels a whole lot safer.
Just don't bullshit me that one group of humans is sacred or good and another group are evil. That is the most dangerous horseshit that ever got flung.
That is, it's the most harmful meme ever concocted, and George Lucas should be strung up by his nuts for making such a black and white series of stupid ass movies called Star Wars. Give me a fucking break - the black helmeted bad people versus the white robed goodies and the good spirit (the force). Fuck off.
That's just what people fucking believe about earth, too. Why do you think it's the best-selling movie ever made?
Every group on Earth thinks they are the good ones, they are ones chosen by the gods or God or whatever you want to call him. They're not. You're not, I'm not, we're not. Nobody is.
The US still teaches every child in school about Manifest Destiny - the idea the god almighty chose the fledgling United States to be the ones to GENOCIDE the American Indians and to populate the entire (good parts) of the North American continent. Yes, little children it's okay to genocide bad people, especially when they're described in the Declaration of Independence as "merciless Indian savages." Especially when God tells you to.
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